October 25th, 2009, Sermon Summary
Preaching Series: Welcome to the (Church) Family

Today I want to draw our attention to the reasons for our Sunday meetings.  Six out of seven days of the week we are scattered throughout the community.  We are working.  We are going to school.  We are keeping a home.  We are living our lives.  But on Sundays, the Lord’s Day, we meet together in this building where we greet each other, sing, hear a sermon, and take an offering.  The question is: Why?  What are we doing here? 

I used to ask that question a lot at my former church.  Every Monday afternoon the pastoral staff would have a two to three hour meeting.  We would do the same things.  We would talk about the same things.  If felt like we weren’t making any progress.  And I would come away thinking, “Why did I just give two hours of my life to that?” 

Maybe you’re thinking that this morning?  You’re thinking, “Why do I give an hour and fifteen minutes of my life to the Sunday meeting?”  By the way, I’m calling it the Sunday Meeting on purpose.  I want to remind us that the time we spend together on Sundays is not the church.  It’s when the church meets.  It’s the Sunday meeting because, of course, we meet at other times, too.  This is an essential component of what it means to be a part of a church family, but it’s not the only component.  

So why do we meet?  Why should participating in this meeting be a priority for every member of the church family?   

1.       For the purpose of encountering God.
All week long we encounter the world.  We encounter the world at school.  We encounter the world at work.  We encounter the world in the mall.  We encounter the world on television and on the internet.  Some of you encounter the world in your own home.  All of us encounter the world in our hearts as we struggle with sin and temptation.  Most of our week is spent on a long highway of constant distractions, constant incitements, and constant unbelief.  

The Sunday meeting is like an exit off that highway to a welcome rest.  When we pull over we don’t need a spiritual pick-me-up.  We don’t need a nice program.  We don’t need a light, funny sermon.  We need God.  We need to encounter the Lord.  We need to see Him and we need to hear His voice.  Only He can bring the refreshment we need.  Only He can bring the comfort we need.  Only He can bring the conviction we need.  We need to encounter God and that’s what the Sunday meeting is for. 

The Sunday meeting is not about what we want.  It’s not about what we think will be more enjoyable or more pleasing to our taste.  It’s not about what kind of preacher I am or what kind of worship leader Fernando is.  It’s not about checking off our spiritual to-do-list.  It’s about meeting with God as His beloved and redeemed children.   We need a God-centered meeting on Sundays. 

How do we encounter God in the Sunday meeting?  The primary way we encounter God is by His Word.  His Word is His self-revelation.  Without it we would not know Him or encounter Him.  But He has given us His Word.  By His Word God speaks to us.  By His Word God shows us Himself.  This is how we encounter Him. 

“And the Lord appeared again at Shiloh, for the Lord revealed himself to Samuel at Shiloh by the word of the Lord.” I Samuel 3:21

Every Sunday morning God wants to appear to us and reveal Himself to us by His Word.  That is why there is preaching in the meeting.  Preaching delivers the Word of God to our ears.  Preaching gives God’s Word voice.  Preaching is not for entertainment.  Preaching is not for lecturing on a Biblical subject.  Preaching is for delivering the Word of the Lord so that He appears and addresses us.  

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.  I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.” II Timothy 3:16-4:2

The most important kind of preaching is expository preaching.  Expository preaching takes its points and its substance from the text of the Bible.  I have not done a good job at this, but that’s my aim; a Word-centered meeting.  The best way to do this is by preaching verse by verse through individual books of the Bible like we did in Philippians and will do for another book starting in January.  I want to preach in a way that honors God’s Word and gives His Word voice in our church family. 

The primary way we encounter God is by His Word, but let me get even more specific.  Within God’s Word there is a specific Word by which we encounter God.  All of God’s Word addresses us and reveals Him to us, but there is a particular part of the Word that reveals Him more than the rest: The Word of cross, the gospel.  The gospel is the message about Jesus Christ, the Word incarnate, who came and died for our sins and rose again on the third day so that all who believe Him might be reconciled to God. 

Apart from God’s Word we would not know Him; apart from God’s Son as revealed in the gospel, we could not know Him.  Apart from Jesus, all we would encounter is God in His judgment; but through Jesus and through the gospel we can encounter God in His mercy and grace and love.  That is why not only is my aim a Word-centered meeting on Sunday but also a Christ-centered or gospel-centered meeting.  Can we sinners expect to encounter God on Sunday morning?  Yes, because of Christ!

“Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus…let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.”  Hebrews 10:19-22

We encounter God by His Word and especially by the Word of the gospel, that’s why I try to preach the way I preach.  But that’s also why we sing the songs we try to sing.  When our music is God-centered, Word-centered, and gospel-centered, then it becomes another means of encountering Him in our meetings.  Our goal is songs that are full of truth, full of Scripture, and full of gospel so that as we sing or even as we listen we are brought near to God and see Him and hear Him addressing us.

Is this how you view the Sunday meeting?  Do you come here to meet with God as a church family?  Do you come expecting to see Him and hear Him speak to you?  Is coming to the Sunday meeting optional for you?  How would you prepare differently for this meeting?  How would you participate differently? 

2.       For the purpose of responding to God.
Here’s the second reason for the Sunday meeting: To respond to God.  Coming is not enough.  Listening is not enough.  We must respond.  

“Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord?  Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams.” I Samuel 15:22

“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.  For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror.  For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.  But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.” James 1:22-25

This is what we might call worship.  Worship is always a response to God’s revelation.  The worship response might be to accept the gospel and receive Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.  The worship response might be to repent of an un-confessed sin.  The worship response might be to believe a truth about God.  The worship response might be to submit to a command of God you’ve been ignoring. 

The worship response might be to humble yourself under His authority.  The worship response might be to thank Him for some blessing you’ve taken for granted.  The worship response might be an act of love toward someone.  The worship response might be to give an offering.  The point is that every Sunday is a time for us as a church body to respond in faith and grace-motivated obedience – without delay.  Do you respond every Sunday?  Do you apply what you are hearing? 

Here again music plays an important role.  Singing praise to God is a worship response to His revelation.  He deserves the praise of our lips and the praise of our hearts.  He is worthy.  Is He a great God?  Is He a loving Father?  Is He all-wise and all-powerful?  Has He saved us from our sin?  Is He our Savior?  Then what’s keeping you from singing it?  What’s keeping you from declaring it?

“Oh sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth!  Sing to the Lord, bless his name; tell of his salvation from day to day.  Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples.” Psalm 96:1-3

3.       For the purpose of building up the body of Christ.
The third reason for the Sunday meeting is for the building up of the body of Christ.  Everything we do is for edification.  Every song that we sing and every sermon that I preach is to build you up in the Lord and strengthen you for another week in the world. 

“Let all things be done for building up.”  I Corinthians 14:26

“And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ.”  Ephesians 4:11-13

“Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” Hebrews 10:24-25

We are about to leave the rest stop of the Sunday meeting and merge back into the world in which we live.  For the rest of the week we will be scattered throughout this community living, working, going to school, keeping a house, talking with friends.  Everywhere we go we will encounter the world, but for a little while we have our eyes and ears turned toward God and our spirits built up so we can worship Him throughout the week.

Sunday, October 18th, 2009, Sermon Summaries
Preaching Series: Welcome to the (Church) Family

Most of us have family pictures displayed in our home.  We buy nice frames for them.  We place them in prominent locations around the house.  Pictures are one of those things you’d expect to find in a family.  They convey meaning to us.  They remind us of people we love and memories we cherish.  Pictures also signal who’s in our family.   

As the family of God, we have two pictures in our church home.  You won’t find these on the walls.  They are living pictures, ceremonies, handed down to us from generation to generation beginning with Jesus Christ.  They mean something to us.  They remind us of someone we love and of something we cherish.  And they signify to us who’s in the family. 

These two pictures are baptism and the Lord’s Supper.  Jesus said, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and of the Holy Spirit” (Matthew 28:19).  On the night of His betrayal He said, “This is my body which is for you.  Do this in remembrance of me…This cup is the new covenant in my blood.  Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me” (I Corinthians 11:24-25). 

These ceremonies are not empty frames.  They are not empty rituals.  They are full of meaning and purpose for us as Christians.  They remind us of our Lord Jesus Christ who died in our place.  They remind us of the new life we have as partakers of Christ.  And they signify to us who’s in the family of God.  What I want to do this morning is go over the meaning of these pictures and remind us what function they serve in our church family. 

“And with many other words he bore witness and continued to exhort them, saying, ‘Save yourselves from this crooked generation.’  So those who received his word were baptized, and there were added that day about three thousand souls.  And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.” Acts 2:40-42

 What is Baptism?
First of all, notice what Peter was doing.  He was speaking words and bearing witness and exhorting the people to be saved.  Peter was preaching the gospel.  The gospel is the good news of salvation in Jesus Christ.  It is the news of His death for our sins, His burial, and His resurrection on the third day.  It is the news that everyone who turns from sin and trusts in the Savior will be saved. 

Then notice what happened: “Those who received the word were baptized.”  3,000 people received the gospel Peter was preaching.  They believed it.  They turned from their sin and trusted in Jesus Christ for salvation and as an outward sign they were baptized.  First they received the gospel then they were baptized.

Baptism in the Bible was the physical act of being put under the water and being brought up again.  They were fully immersed.  That’s what the word “baptism” means.  Water was not poured or sprinkled on their heads.  When Jesus was baptized, the Bible says “when he came up out of the water” the Spirit descended on him like a dove. 

This is how we as a church family practice baptism.  First, a person receives the word in their heart.  They turn from sin, which is repentance, and trust in Jesus Christ for salvation.  This is what we call salvation by faith rather than by works.  Then, that person is baptized by being physically immersed in water and being brought back up again.  We call this believer’s baptism because it is only for those who have believed.

Why did Jesus command that everyone who receives Him should be baptized?   To begin with, baptism in that day and age was a recognized symbolic act of repentance and cleansing.  John the Baptist preached a message of repentance in preparation for the coming of Jesus Christ.  Many people came and were baptized in the Jordan River.  People were repenting of their sin and demonstrating it symbolically and publically through baptism. 

Everyone in Jerusalem who saw the 3,000 people being baptized understood what they were doing. They knew they were making a public statement of their change of heart, of their repentance.  Baptism didn’t change them.  They were changed and publicized their change by baptism.  Jesus commands everyone who has repented of sin and trusted in Him to publically show it by the act of baptism. 

Baptism not only symbolizes that we’ve changed, it symbolizes how we’ve changed.  It pictures our union in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  When you trusted in Jesus Christ for salvation, the Bible says you died with Christ, you were buried with Christ, and now you have new life in Christ.  You’re not the same person anymore.  

“Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?  We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.”   Romans 6:3-5

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” II Corinthians 5:17

In baptism, being immersed under the water represents dying in Christ and being buried in Him.  It pictures our old life has passed away.  Being brought up out of the water represents being resurrected in Jesus Christ.  We live because He lives.  We are no longer under condemnation for our sins.  We are no longer slaves to sin.  We are no longer dead in sin.  We are forgiven and free and alive in Christ!   Baptism symbolizes all of that.  

What this means for us as a church is that baptism signifies the beginning of a Christian’s life in Christ and membership in the Family of God.  It’s the first sign of fellowship.  It’s the first sign of identification with Jesus and with other Christians.  It’s the first celebration of their new life; the new life they have in Jesus and the new life they have in the body of Christ. 

If you have received the word and trusted in Jesus Christ as your Savior, you should be baptized.  In the Bible, everyone who believed in Jesus was baptized, without exception.  Baptism was how the church identified who was part of the family.  It was the first identifier.  That’s why baptism is required for membership in our local church family because it identifies you as a member of God’s global Family. 

When someone is baptized, how should we as the church respond?  Obviously, we should rejoice because they are testifying to their new life in Jesus Christ.  That’s worth celebrating.  We should also joyfully embrace that person as a brother and sister in Christ.  No cold reception.  No indifference.  Also, we should return thanksgiving to God remembering our own union with Christ. 

What is the Lord’s Supper?
The second picture Jesus gave to the church family is the Lord’s Supper.  Acts 2:42 says, “And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.”  Notice first of all that they continually “devoted” themselves to certain things.  They gave continual attention to these things.  They persisted in them.

Second notice the phrase, “the breaking of bread.”  This is an early reference to the Lord’s Supper.  In those days the Lord’s Supper was part of a larger meal they would have together as a church family.  It wasn’t simply an add-on to their Sunday morning meetings like it is commonly done today.  And unlike baptism which happened once for every believer, the Lord’s Supper was taken many times, perhaps daily at first.  We don’t take it daily or even monthly, but there is no prescribed number. 

It all started on the night of Jesus’ betrayal when Jesus and His disciples were observing the Jewish feast of Passover.  This was a ceremonial meal that commemorated Israel’s deliverance from Egypt.  It was a memorial feast in memory of how God delivered them.  God sent a destroying angel to kill the firstborn of every family including the Israelites unless they put the blood of an unblemished lamb over the door and on the doorposts.  When the destroying angel saw the blood, he would “pass over” that home.

 It was during that meal that Jesus instituted what we call the Lord’s Supper. 

“Now as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and after blessing it broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, ‘Take, eat; this is my body.’  And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, ‘Drink of it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.” Matthew 26:26-28

In the Lord’s Supper, the bread represents the body of Jesus Christ which was broken for us and the cup represents His blood which was poured out for us.  The blood of the lamb in the exodus story was a foreshadowing of Jesus Christ who would shed his blood for us on Calvary.  All the sacrifices under the old covenant were temporary and foreshadowed the sacrifice of Jesus Christ under the new covenant.  As Christians, we are not saved by the blood of many lambs but by the blood of The One Lamb.  The Lord’s Supper commemorates our deliverance in Him. 

What this means for us as a church family is that by taking this supper, by eating the bread and drinking the cup, we are symbolizing our continual trust in Jesus Christ both as individual Christians and as a church family.  Every time we take the Supper we are remembering and celebrating what Christ has done for us and we’re communing with God and with one another as we take it. 

As a church family, Jesus has given us this special meal as a way of remembering what He has done and proclaiming what He has done and as a way of expressing our on-going trust in Him.  We must guard ourselves from taking the Lord’s Supper carelessly or thoughtlessly.

October 11th, 2009, Sermon Summary
Preaching Series: Welcome to the Family, Part 2

On the youth mission trip to Denver this summer, we had the privilege of serving at a World Vision warehouse.  World Vision is a global Christian humanitarian organization that helps millions of people around the world.  They have offices in a hundred countries and dispersed over a billion dollars in donations last year to help earthquake and hurricane survivors, abandoned and exploited children, refugees of famine and civil war, and communities devastated by AIDS.  

What did we do for this incredible organization?  For two days we unpacked and then repacked shoes.  We came all the way from Oklahoma to pack shoes!  There was nothing glamorous about it.  But, it was still a privilege to serve there because we were a part of something bigger.  Our little, local work of packing shoes connected us with the incredible, global work of World Vision.  

Being a part of a local church doesn’t always feel glamorous, either.  In fact, it can feel very ordinary.  But we have to remember – being a part of a local church makes us a part of something vastly bigger; it connects us with the incredible, global work of God.  God is using the faithful witness of the church to display His glory and reconcile the world to Himself.  We’re a part of that, when we’re a part of this.   

In I Thessalonians 1:1-10 we see how God used Christians locally to display His glory globally. 

Three Observations
The first thing I want you to notice is that Paul addresses “the church of the Thessalonians.”  This was a local church family just like Aydelotte, only much smaller.  He didn’t single any one or two particularlly gifted or special people.  He addressed them as a whole.  

The second thing I want you to notice is how they became a church.  

“For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not only in word, but also in power and in the Holy Spirit and with full conviction.  You know what kind of men we proved to be among you for your sake.” I Thess. 1:4-5

Paul came to Thessalonica on his second missionary journey and stayed several weeks there teaching the gospel and reasoning from the Scriptures.  As he taught, the power of the Holy Spirit convicted them.  Acts 17:4 tells us: “And some of them were persuaded and joined Paul and Silas, as did a great many of the devout Greeks and not a few of the leading women.”  Thus, the first church of Thessalonica was born. 

The third thing I want you to notice is the radical change that happened in their lives.  They didn’t just believe the gospel and go on about their normal lives.  When they believed, their lives radically changed.  

“We give thanks to God always for all of you, constantly mentioning you in our prayers, remembering before our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.” I Thessalonians 1:2-3

“And you became imitators of us and of the Lord, for you received the word in much affliction, with the joy of the Holy Spirit, so that you became an example to all the believers in Macedonia and in Achaia.”  I Thessalonians 1:6-7

“For they themselves report concerning us the kind of reception we had among you, and how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, and to wait for his Son from heaven…” I Thessalonians 1:9-10

Their conversion produced works of faith, labors of love, steadfastness of hope, joy in the midst of immediate persecution, abandonment of life-long idolatry for the worship of the True God.  These are people who had never heard of Jesus Christ and now their hope is in Him and already they are waiting for His second coming.  Genuine faith in God produces real change.   

The main thing I want you to notice is how God used them as a local church family to glorify Him outside their church walls; to glorify Him globally.  This is extremely relevant for us.  God is and can even more use us in the same way. 

“For not only has the word of the Lord sounded forth from you in Macedonia and Achaia, but your faith in God has gone forth everywhere, so that we need not say anything.” I Thessalonians 1:8

They were a Model of Declaration.
How did God use them as a local church family to glorify Him in the world?  First, by declaration.  They declared “the word of the Lord.”  The “Word of the Lord” is a reference to the gospel, the message of Christ’s life, death, and resurrection.  This is the Word that Paul and Silas preached to them.  This is the Word that came with power and the Holy Spirit and with full conviction.  This is the “Word of the Lord” that saved them and changed them and created the church of Thessalonica. 

What did they do with this Word?  It “sounded forth from” them “in Macedonia and Achaia.”  The phrase “sounded forth” means to be sounded out with intensity like the blast of a trumpet.  The NIV says the Word “rang out” from them.  I think of a tornado siren sounded forth the alarm. 

Thessalonica was the largest and most important city in Macedonia.  It had a thriving seaport.  The major east-west highway of the Roman Empire ran through the middle of town.  It was teeming with travelers and traders from all over the world.  As this newborn church declared the Word of the Lord locally, it sounded forth globally. 

We have the same opportunity to “sound forth” the Word of the Lord.  We live in a very mobile society and a very connected culture.  Today, I can sit in my office and chat over the internet with my friends in Bosnia.  My brother-in-law’s church in Tennessee broadcasts the only internet worship service specifically designed for the hearing impaired community.  We as a church could send our very own missionary to China to teach young students the Bible for a year.    

They were a Model of Demonstration.
The second way God used this local church to glorify Him in the world was by demonstration.  Verse eight says, “not only has the word of the Lord sounded forth from you…but your faith in God has gone forth everywhere.”  Not only did the gospel sound forth from them, the fruit of the gospel, their faith in God, went forth everywhere.   

What did that look like?  People were seeing and hearing about changed lives.  Remember the radical change that happened to them?  They turned from idols to serve the living and true God.  They began waiting for Jesus’ return.  Their faith in God was producing works for God.  Their love for God producing labors of love for others.  Their hope in Christ was producing steadfastness, endurance.  They were receiving the Word with joy despite the persecution.  Here are more examples:

“But now that Timothy has come to us from you, and has brought us the good news of your faith and love and reported that you always remember us kindly and long to see us, as we long to see you.” I Thessalonians 3:6

“Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to live and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more.” I Thessalonians 4:1

“Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another, for that indeed is what you are doing to all the brothers throughout Macedonia.  But we urge you, brothers, to do this ore and more.” I Thessalonians 4:9-10

Not only was the Word of the Lord sounding forth from them, but their faith in God as evidenced by their changed lives and love for one another, was going out everywhere.  They weren’t just declaring the gospel, they were demonstrating the gospel.  

This is one of the most overlooked aspects of the local church.  When we live out our faith in God like the Thessalonians, we are doing more than just sharing the gospel, we’re showing the gospel; God is using us to demonstrate the power of the gospel to change lives.   Our faith in God, lived out in the local church, is as important as what we communicate about God. 

“Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

“By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.”   John 15:8

“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”  John 13:35

When we live out our faith in God locally, by loving one another and serving together and worshiping together even though we’re different, by our unity and humility, we’re doing something we can’t do on our own.  We’re showing the power of the gospel.  We’re showing the very real difference the Word of God makes in lives.    

“By living the gospel as a distinct community, the church down the street accomplishes the important mission of displaying the transforming effects of the gospel for the world to see.”  – Joshua Harris

“The church gives a visual presentation of the gospel when we forgive one another as Christ has forgiven us, when we commit to one another as Christ ahs committed to us, and when we lay down our lives for one another as Christ laid down his life for us.” – Mark Dever

What kind of visual presentation of the gospel are we making in our community?  What are we saying by the way we live and by the way we love and by the way we worship.  Are we distinct from the people around us?  Alexander McClaren writes, “The world takes its notions of God most of all from the people who say they belong to God’s family.  They read us a great deal more than they read the Bible.  In fact, they see us, they only hear about Jesus Christ.”  What notions of God and of Jesus are people taking from us? 

Being a part of a local church family like Aydelotte or some other local church may not feel very glamorous, but when we are involved locally we are connected to God’s glorious work of displaying His glory globally.

Sunday, October 4th, Sermon Summary
Welcome to the Family, part 1

The Bible uses many metaphors to describe the church.  We are the body of Christ.  We are the bride of Christ.  We are the temple of the Holy Spirit.  We are the flock of God.  I Peter 2:9 says the church is a chosen race, a royal priesthood, and a holy nation.  But one of the most important metaphors of the church is the household of God: “you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God” (Ephesians 2:19). 

“So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” (Galatians 6:10)

“If I delay, you may know how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, a pillar and buttress of truth.” (I Timothy 3:15)

“For it is time for judgment to begin at the household of God; and if it begins with us, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God?” (I Peter 4:17)

Scripture refers to the church as a “household” because God dwells with his people.  He does not dwell in a building but in and with his people though the Holy Spirit.  We are a “household” or a “family” because God has become our Father and we have become His children.  The most common designation for a Christian in the New Testament is “brother” (which is an inclusive term referring to brothers and sisters). 

When we became Christians by faith in Jesus Christ, two things happened relationally: First, and most importantly, we were brought into a new personal relationship with God.  God adopted us; He became our Father and we became His children.  We are no longer separated from Him as enemies.  We’ve been brought near by the blood of Christ.  This is the most important thing and it produces the second thing. 

The second thing that happened relationally when we became Christians was that we were brought into a new personal relationship with other people.  Before, we were strangers.  Before, we may have even been enemies.  But now, because we have been redeemed by the blood of Christ, we have been brought near to one another in a family relationship.  “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ” (Ephesians 2:13).

Elevating our View of the Local Church
My goal in this series of topical messages is to elevate our view of what it means to be a part of this local church family.  The household of God is a global household made up of people we will never see or know until heaven.  Aydelotte is a tiny segment of that global household made up of people we do know and see every week.  I want to elevate our appreciation for this local family.  I want to elevate our affection for this local family.   I want to elevate our thanksgiving for this local family.

“If I had never joined a church till I had found one that was perfect, I should never have joined one at all.  And the moment I did join it, if I had found one, I should have spoiled it, for it would not have been a perfect church after I had become a member of it.  Still, as imperfect as it is, it is the dearest place on earth to us.” – Charles Spurgeon

Can you say that as imperfect as the church is, it is still the dearest place on earth to you? 

Many Christians fall into two categories: Those who dismiss the local church family and those who take it for granted.  Those who dismiss the local church family don’t care to belong to one.  They hop in and out of church or they hop from one church to another or they drop totally out of church.  They don’t see the local church as relevant or necessary for their lives.  Maybe they were “burned” by the church in the past.  Young people are particularly vulnerable to the temptation to dismiss the local church family.    

Those who take the local church for granted are typically in church every Sunday.  They are semi-involved.  Maybe they tithe.  Maybe they go to Sunday School.  They have established a good habit of going to church but they’ve forgotten what it means to belong to the family.  They have compartmentalized church to a couple of activities a week and their commitment only goes so far.

Several months ago I had the opportunity to talk over the phone with a former member.  He lives nearby but hasn’t been involved in church for many years.  Early in our conversation he said these words: “You know, God made the family before He ever made the church.”  In a subsequent personal visit, he said the same thing twice – once at the beginning and once at the end. 

In his mind, not participating in a local church was okay since it is secondary to the family.  As long as he is a good Christian “family man” he didn’t need the church.  But you know what, he’s wrong.  He does need the church and the church isn’t secondary to the family. 

• The church existed in the plan of God before He created marriage.  “Even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world…” (Eph. 1:4)
• The church is central to God’s unfolding plan for the universe.  “So that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus” (Eph. 2:7; 3:10)
• God created marriage as a picture of Christ’s love for the church. “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church” (Eph. 5:32).
• Marriage (and subsequently family) is temporary.  The church family is forever.  “That he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish” (Eph. 5:27) (See Matthew 22:30, Revelation 19:7)

Where do you fall this morning?  Are you in the category of dismissing the local church family or just in the category of taking it for granted?  My prayer is that week by week your view of the value and role of the local church family will explode and you will find yourselves grateful to God for it. 

The Main Reason to Value the Church
When other reasons for valuing the local church family aren’t enough, this reason should keep us from dismissing or taking it for granted:  Jesus loves the church; He loves the church so much He died for it.   “Walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us…” (Ephesians 5:2, see Eph. 5:25)

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25)

When we love the local church we are loving what Jesus loves.  When we highly value the church we are highly valuing what Jesus highly values.  When we are passionately committed to the local family of God, we are passionately committed to what Jesus is passionately committed to. 

“A new command I give to you, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” (John 13:34)

“Pay close attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood.”  (Acts 20:28)

The church, whether or globally or locally, is the dearest place on earth because Jesus obtained her with His own blood.  It is the dearest place on earth whether we chose to believe it or not because Jesus paid dearest price – with all its imperfections. 

Next time you come to church, remember you are gathering with the people Jesus loves and died for.  Next time you see a fellow Christian at the store, remember, there’s one of your blood-bought brothers or sisters.  Next time you think of dismissing a Christian because of their age or because of their music preferences or because of their strange behavior, remember, who are we to dismiss what Jesus paid the ultimate price to redeem?

Sunday, September 27th, 2009, Sermon Summary

God is not naïve about conflict in the home.  Every home has it.  Even Christian homes that are seeking to follow the Lord have conflict.  God knows that.  He cares about that.  And His Word deals with that.   

Catalysts for Conflict
All conflict is a result of living in a fallen world.  One of the blessings of heaven will be an end to conflict.  Specifically though, much of our conflict in marriage and in the family comes directly from personal sin in our own hearts.  Proverbs 4:21 tells us the heart is the wellspring of all our behavior.  Why did Cain kill his brother Abel?  Why did Joseph’s brothers sell him into slavery?  Why did David commit adultery with Bathsheba?  Why do hateful arguments and physical abuse happen in our own day? 

“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?  Is it not that your passions are at war within you?  You desire and do not have, so you murder.  You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.”    (James 4:1-2) 

Some of our conflicts simply come from our differences.  There are no two people exactly alike.  Everyone has different likes and dislikes.  Everyone has different habits.  Everyone has a unique personality.  Everyone has different experiences in their background.  Everyone has things about them that are strange.  Men and women were created differently.  They think differently. They see things differently.  They have different needs.  Children born and raised by the same parents are different from each other.  All these differences can be a catalyst for conflict.

For example, my dad was a physics major in college and an engineer at Tinker.  He understands blueprints and schematics and math.  God made him like that.  Growing up I liked to draw and write stories and I hated math.  That simple difference was a catalyst for conflict which was heightened usually by my sinful attitude.

Another cause of conflict in the home can be circumstances outside of our control.  Things happen in our lives that take us by surprise and knock our feet out from under us.  A debilitating illness or  a disabling injuring at work can be a catalyst for conflict in the home.   How the economy has affected your family can be a catalyst for conflict.  Jesus said, “In this world you will have tribulation” and, if we’re not careful, that tribulation can lead to conflict in the home. 

Take Job and his wife for example.  Their entire life savings and all their assets and all their children and Job’s own health was wiped out in a matter of days.  Did that cause conflict in their marriage?  You bet.  She couldn’t see how on earth her husband could continue to trust God.  “Curse Him and die,” she said.  

That reminds us of another cause of conflict in the home – the Devil.    The Devil is a real, evil, deceptive,  and influential enemy.  He was behind Job’s suffering.  He was behind Adam and Eve’s fall in the Garden.  He is behind every lie and every impurity.  He fuels conflict and feeds on conflict because he delights to destroy the work of God.  Satan isn’t against you mainly.  He is against God mainly and against the gospel.  And one reason He wants to destroy marriage is because it is a picture of the gospel. 

It is for good reason the Apostle Paul says in Ephesians 4:26, “give no opportunity to the devil.”  It is for good reason he says in Ephesians 6:11, “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.”  He is an active force in this world but as strong as he is we can resist him if we stand in God’s strength. 

One other cause of conflict I feel that I need to mention is this: Nothing happens in your life or in your home apart from the sovereign permission of God.  God does not commit evil or cause anyone to sin but He does rule over evil and sin and use them for His purposes just like in the case of Adam and Eve, Joseph, Job and even in the case of His Son, Jesus.  God is not a passive, helpless observer of our problems.  He is a sovereign, wise, loving employer of our problems.  

For example, God employees conflict in the home to remind us we need Him.  God employees conflict to show us we are sinners and desperately need redemption.  He uses it to remind us to trust Him and seek Him.  He uses it to test our hearts and to test the genuineness of our faith in Him.  He uses conflict to discipline us as His children and train us to be holy.  God employees conflict to set our eyes and hopes on the life to come.  

Four Biblical Steps through Conflict

1.  Control Your Tongue.
Watch your words.  Watch your tone.  Don’t be careless.  An uncontrolled tongue is like pressing the accelerator on your car.  Conflict can go from 0 to 60 in seconds by what comes out of our mouths.  Our reaction, our choice of words, our tone of voice can exacerbate any problem.  James 3:6 is a fire.  You know this to be true.  More harm is done by the tongue than anything else in the home.  But the opposite is true as well – our words and tone of voice can decelerate conflict and bring healing. 

“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18)

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)

“When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” (Proverbs 10:19)

“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” (Proverbs 16:24 )

 “The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.” (Proverbs 15:28)

Ephesians 4 says to put away falsehood and speak the truth (v. 25).  Don’t sin when you get angry (v. 26).  Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth, but only what builds up, what is fitting, and what gives grace to the hearer (v. 29).  Put away bitter words, wrathful and angry words, clamor and slanderous words (v. 31), use kind and tender words instead (v. 32).   

Bridling our tongues is a very practical first step to Biblically handling any conflict.  Husbands, watch how you speak to your wives even in the most stressful moments.  Wives, watch how you speak to your husband especially in the heat of the moment.  Parents, watch how you speak to your children and children, watch how you speak to your parents.  What you say and how you say it reveals what’s in your heart and Jesus said, “On the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak” (Matthew 12:36). 

2.   Confess Your Own Guilt.
Every conflict is a mandate to judge your own heart and your own actions before you act and judge another.  Jesus said, “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?  Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is a log in your own eye?  First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:3-5). 

Don’t assume you are without sin and the other person is the problem.  I John 1:8 says, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  [But] If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us…”  Take ownership of your own guilt.  Do you have selfish expectations?  Is my pride getting in the way?  Have your priorities been out of place?  Have you been impatient or disrespectful or harsh?  Have you been totally honest? 

Acknowledging your own sin and faults does several things.  It demonstrates humility and diffuses pride.  It could diffuse the whole situation if we own up to our own shortcomings because we are not bent on defending ourselves and making ourselves out to be the victim.  It brings God’s forgiveness and opens your heart to the grace of God.

“Whoever conceals his transgression will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.”  (Proverbs 28:13)

Even if, after testing our own hearts and actions, we are not aware of any specific sin on our part, we should acknowledge our sinfulness generally and need of God’s grace generally.  We know, apart from the conflict itself, that we are sinners who have been saved by grace.  This means husbands and wives can always identify and sympathize with one another.  This means parents can always sympathize with their children’s sin because they know that apart from the grace of God they are no better.  Confessing our guilt, whether specifically or generally, changes the tone of conflict and opens us up to the healing work of God. 

3.   Consider Christ and His Ways Toward You.
Jesus was not insulated from conflict.  Conflict swirled around for His entire ministry and culminated in His murder on the cross.   He knows what it is like to be wrongly accused.  He knows what it is like to be hated and slandered.  He knows what it is like to be betrayed and forsaken by close friends.  He even knows the temptation to please Himself and gain a following and avoid suffering.  How did the Son of God respond? 

“For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.  He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth.  When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.” (I Peter 2:21-23)

Consider Christ and, by the strength He supplies, go and do likewise.  But more specifically, consider Christ’s ways toward you in particular.  It was for your sin Christ came and suffered and died.  It was for your sin that Jesus hung on the cross.  God didn’t damn you, He rescued you.  Christ didn’t avoid you, He came for you.  Even now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Rom. 8:1).  Even now God is patient with you and gracious toward you every day of your life.  He is kind toward you, He is tenderhearted toward you, He is forgiving toward you. 

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us…” (Ephesians 1:7-8)

What if you were treated as your sins deserve?  What if God were just toward you and not merciful?  What if God on his part did nothing to end the conflict between He and you?  These questions aren’t for making you feel guilty; they’re for making you feel grateful.  Control your tongue, confess your own guilt, consider Christ and His ways toward then and only then act.   

4.   Conduct Yourself in Love and Faith.
Ephesians 4:32 says, “Forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”  Forgiveness is a promise not to hold someone’s sin or fault against them.  Forgiveness releases them from owing you.  God in Christ promises to never hold your sin against you.  He has wiped them away.  In Christ God released you from the penalty your sins deserved.  The Bible says to us, go and do likewise.  

Husbands and wives, don’t let the sun go down on your conflict without forgiving each other as God in Christ forgave you.  Parent, don’t let another day go by without forgiving your son or daughter.  Students, don’t go to sleep tonight holding ill-will toward your parents for something they said or did that you didn’t like.  This is urgent.  Jesus said, “If you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:15).  

Ephesians 5:1-2 says, “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.  And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”  Ephesians 5:25 says to husbands, “love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”  Act in love as Christ acted in love toward you by giving himself up for you.  Jesus gave up His rights for you.  He gave up His freedom and riches and reputation and comfort for you to love you, to restore you to God, to give you new life.   Now go and do likewise for each other. 

Conducting yourself in love means that whatever you do say, even if it is a word of rebuke, say it in a way that is kind and well-meaning.  However you do respond, respond in a way that will show care and concern.  Love we know is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; love is not arrogant or rude; love doesn’t insist on its own way; love isn’t irritable or resentful (I Cor. 13:4-5). 

Conducting yourself in faith means that you act out of belief and trust towards God.  Obey God because you believe what He says.   Obey God even if its hard believing that Christ will strengthen you.  Act in love believing that God will bless your efforts and bless your obedience.  Act in love trusting God with the results.

Sermon Summary for September 13th, 2009

Last week we saw from Ephesians 5:22-33 that husbands and wives have distinct roles in marriage.  Husbands have the divine calling and responsibility to Christ-like leadership.  Where does that leave the wife?  She has a different role, a different divine calling.   “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (v. 22), “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands” (v. 24).  Wives are called to church-like submission in marriage. 

“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” (Colossians 3:18)

“Older women…train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” (Titus 2:3-5) 

There are a lot of wrong attitudes about submission today, both inside and outside the body of Christ.  So I want to spend time going over it with you.  This is relevant for everyone, not just wives, because we are all called to submission at one level or another.

What Biblical Submission Does Not Look Like
1.  First, submission does not mean wives or women in general are inferior to men.  It does not mean they have less value or less importance or less capability than their husbands.  It does not take her dignity away.  Where women are made to feel inferior or made to feel unvalued that is an evidence of sin, not Biblical submission or Biblical headship. 

In Biblical times, women were treated as possessions and were treated as inferior to men.  It was acceptable for husbands to order and dominate their wives.  In fact, love and affection often had little to do with marriage in that day.  But the Bible itself doesn’t support that.  The Bible lifts up the value of women and the precious importance of wives.  The Bible, particularly by revealing God’s purpose of salvation in Jesus Christ, restores what has been broken by sin. 

For example, comparing the wife’s role in marriage to the church makes a huge statement about her value and preciousness.  Jesus left heaven and became a man for the church.  He took the form of a lowly servant and humbled himself to the point of dying on the cross for her.  Even now He is passionately committed to our care and transformation.  He loves us like we were His own body.  Paul says, “Husbands, you’re to feel about your wife the way Christ feels about you.” 

For another example, consider Christ’s submission to His Heavenly Father.  Jesus and the Father are One and yet they are distinct.  This is a mystery.  Jesus’ submission to the authority of His Father doesn’t make Him inferior or less valuable than the Father.  God the Father never looks down on God the Son.  The Father loves and delights in the Son to a degree we haven’t even begun to understand.  Biblical submission does not mean wives are inferior to husbands. 

2. The second thing Biblical submission does not mean is that a wife has no active contribution to make in the marriage.  It doesn’t mean wives cannot speak or disagree with their husbands or have a mind of their own.  It doesn’t mean wives must silently accept the decisions she questions or accept her husband’s sin.  It doesn’t mean she has to repress her giftedness or repress her desires. 

Paul’s statement in Ephesians 5:24 that a wife should submit “in everything to their husband,” is not the same thing as saying wives should silently go along with absolutely everything their husbands say.  Wives shouldn’t sin against the Lord in order to submit to their husbands.  Wives shouldn’t stay in harm’s way or keep their children in harm’s way in order to submit to their husbands.  Where her submission to Christ and her submission to her husband clash, she is always to follow Christ over him. 

Wives can disagree.  Wives can speak.  Wives can think independently.  Wives can use their giftedness.  Wives can and should make an active contribution in their relationship.  When God made Adam in the Garden of Eden, He saw that it wasn’t good for him to be alone and made for him a “helper.”  Eve was made to be Adam’s helper.  She was given a mind and a heart and body and a voice and abilities of her own to help him.  God made her from his own flesh so they would be equal as human beings made in God’s image, but he also made them different so she would complete and compliment him. 

What does Biblical Submission Look Like?
1.  First of all, Biblical submission is every Christian’s calling.   Remember the first message in this series?  James 4:7 says, “Submit yourselves to God.”  Both men and women are called to submit to God and His authority in our lives.  Rebellion against God’s authority is the essence of sin.  That’s what’s wrong with our world.  That’s why there is so much strife and hurt in the home.

Not only is everyone called to submit to God, but the church is called to submit to Jesus Christ.  Ephesians 4:23-24 clearly says that we as the church are to submit to Christ as our head, our authority.  Not only are we to submit to God and to Christ, but Ephesians 5:21 says we are to “submit to one another.”  We are to yield and respect one another within the body of Christ.  This doesn’t dissolve role distinctions within marriage.  In fact, a husband loving his wife as Christ loved the church is a way he submits to her. 

On top of this, children are to submit to their parents.  Ephesians 6:1 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord.”  Slaves (present-day employees) are to submit to their masters (present-day employers). Ephesians 6:5, “Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere hearts, as you would Christ.”  

Church members are to submit to church leaders.   Hebrews 13:17 says, “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account.”  Citizens are to submit to governing authorities. Titus 3:1 says, “Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work.” 

2.  Second, Biblical submission flows out of submission to Christ.  Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”  Colossians 3:18 says, “as is fitting to the Lord.”  This means a wife’s submission and respect is not based on the worthiness of her husband but the worthiness of her Lord.  Ephesians 5:21 says we are to submit to one another “out of reverence for Christ.”

Why should we care about the differences between husbands and wives?  Why should we listen to the Bible about submission and respect?  Why should husbands take responsibility for their wives and lay their lives down for them when they are sinful human beings?  Why should wives to their husbands when they are sinful human beings?  Here’s the answer: Out of reverence for Christ.  Because He died for us and lives in us and He’s in charge and we gladly submit to Him. 

3.  Third, Biblical submission very simply means to put oneself under authority; to yield to or acknowledge another’s leadership.  The emphasis in Ephesians 5:22 is voluntary action, “submit yourselves”.  Outside the Bible, the Greek word for submission is used of a soldier lining up under the rank of a commanding officer. 

When Sydney was a school teacher in the Oklahoma City public school system, she was under the authority of her principle.  Her principle had primary responsibility for the leadership of the school and Sydney’s role was clearly under her principle’s role.  Did that mean Sydney was inferior to her principle?  Did that mean Sydney had no active contribution to make to her principle or to her school? 

According to the Bible, the husband has primary responsibility for his wife.  A good example of this is when Adam and Eve disobeyed God in the Garden.  Eve was the first one who sinned, but Adam was the first one God addressed.  God held Adam responsible first.  While husbands and wives will be held accountable for their actions, I believe God holds husbands especially accountable. 

4.  Fourth, Biblical submission means actively using your gifts and abilities in support of the other person.  Back in Ephesians chapter four we find that God has equipped every person in the church with roles and abilities that contribute to the health of the whole body.  The church grows as each person does their part.

“From whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.”  (Ephesians 4:16)

God has given us each roles and abilities to use in building the church.  He didn’t give me every role and every ability.  My role and abilities as a pastor doesn’t make your role and abilities obsolete.  Christ’s role as head and Savior of the church doesn’t nullify the role and abilities of the church.  Likewise, the husband’s role and abilities doesn’t nullify the role and abilities of his wife.  Christ needs the church to fulfill His purposes.  The husband needs His wife to fulfill his calling. 

5.  Fifth, Biblical submission means to respect the other person.  Ephesians 5:33 says, “Let the wife see that she respects her husband.”  When I was a sheet-metal worker I had an unbelieving boss.  I didn’t agree with his use of language.  I didn’t agree with some of his personal choices.  But I respected him as my boss.  I didn’t talk about him behind his back to the other employees.  I didn’t get sarcastic with him.  I didn’t blow him off when he told me how to do something.  I didn’t argue with him about a decision.  I offered my suggestions and feedback, but I did it in a respectful way that clearly showed I knew he was the boss. 

Wives, God has called you to be your husband’s helper and you can’t without respecting his calling.  You may not respect his choices or agree with his decisions, but you are to respect his position and help him be the husband he is called to be.  Everything you do is to have the tone of respect, even when you disagree.  This supports his leadership.  Even if he is not a believer or a growing Christian, you are to respect him.

Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.”  Ephesians 5:15-17 says, “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.  Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” 

Whether or not we understand it completely, God’s will for marriage is wise and the woman who takes hold of it and diligently applies it to her life is wise and she builds up her home.  Same is true for the husband.  But it is also true that rejecting God’s will is foolish and destructive to the family.

Sermon Summary for Sunday, September 6th, 2009

God helps our homes by establishing and empowering distinct roles for husbands and wives.  Husbands and wives are equal in personhood and value.  Christian spouses are equal in their standing before God as redeemed sinners.  But, God has given husbands and wives different roles; roles that are rooted in the relationship between Christ and the church. 

• “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church…” (v. 23)
• “As the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” (v.24)
• “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (v. 25)
• “Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies…just as Christ does the church.” (v. 28-30)

 Paul is not making value statements.  He is not saying the husband is superior to the wife.  He is saying they have different responsibilities.  Take the human body for example.  All the parts of our bodies make up one body, but every part has a distinct role to play.  That’s how God made us and that’s how God made marriage.  Husbands and wives are one-flesh, and yet each one has a distinct role to play and one is not less important than the other.  

These role distinctions are patterned after the different responsibilities of Christ and the church.  As Christ is the loving head of the church so God has made husbands the loving head of their wives.  As the church respects and submits to the loving leadership of Christ so God has made wives to respect and submit to the loving leadership of their husbands.  This isn’t built on tradition – it’s built on Christ and the church.  We need to accept these roles and apply them in our marriages.  

Having different roles or responsibilities in marriage shouldn’t unnerve us as Christians.  Oneness and distinctiveness are built into the very nature of God.  God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are One God and yet the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit are distinct persons with distinct roles.  The Father has authority over the Son and the Son has authority over the Spirit and yet they are equal to each other; one is not inferior or superior to another.  So it is in marriage (and many other spheres of life). 

What is the Role of Husbands?
God has entrusted husbands with Christ-like leadership in marriage.  This isn’t because men are better or more capable than women.  It’s because their role is patterned after Jesus Christ.  Husbands are not Christ.  Their role is not identical to Christ’s role.  But Christ’s is the husband’s model.  The husband’s leadership role comes from the husband’s headship which is patterned after Christ’s headship.  

“For the husband is head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” (Ephesians 5:23)

Headship in the Bible refers to leadership, rule and authority.  For example, Judges 11:11 says, “So Jephthah went with the elders of Gilead, and the people made him head and leader over them.”  Ephesians 1:22 says of Christ, “He [God] put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church.”  Jesus is the leader and ruler and authority over all things, especially the church.  

“And he is the head of the body, the church.” (Colossians 1:18)

In marriage, following the example of Christ and the church, God has made the husband the leader and authority of his wife.  He has been given the unique responsibility to lead his wife and govern his home as Christ leads and governs His church.  This isn’t a right that husbands can demand and it isn’t a license to do whatever they want to do; it is a responsibility to which husbands are called.  

As the Christ-like leader, husbands are called to take primary responsibility for the protection and provision of their wives and families.  This includes physical protection and provision as well as spiritual protection and provision.  They are not the only ones who have leadership responsibilities in the home – but they have been given primary responsibility.  

Christ-like leadership is not absolute.
How far does a husband’s leadership and authority go?  Christ’s leadership and authority is sovereign and unquestionable; is the husband’s leadership and authority sovereign and unquestionable, too?  The answer is, no.  Christ is Christ.  His leadership and authority is absolute because He is God, He is all-wise, He is sinless, and He purchased the church with His own blood.  

Husbands are mere men.  We are not Christ.  We are not God.  We are not all-wise; therefore our judgment can be mistaken.  We are not sinless; therefore our judgment can be selfish and sinful.  And we don’t have the authority Christ has because we didn’t die for our wives, only Christ did.    So our leadership is not absolute.  It is imperfect and often flawed and can be ungodly.  

Even the phrase, “wives should submit in everything to their husbands” (v. 24) is not absolute.  Husbands with imperfect judgment and sinful, though redeemed, hearts should seek the perspective and counsel of their wives.  What a gift wives are to men!  God gives men wives to improve and refine their leadership.   

Additionally, the husband may be the head of the wife, but Christ is the head of the man.  I Corinthians 11:3 says, “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.”  A husband is under authority and he will be held accountable for his leadership in the home.  If we want to be good husbands and good leaders we will live under Christ’s headship.  How can we expect our wives to submit and respect our leadership if we do not submit and respect the leadership of Christ?  

The Christ-like leadership is loving, servant-leadership.
Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”  The husband’s duty as Christ-like leader is to be a Christ-like lover of theirwives.  The Christ-like leader seeks the good of his wife.  He desires to protect her from harm and provide for her needs.  He considers her perspective and her feelings.  He overlooks petty offenses.  

“[The Christ-like leader] is patient and kind; [he] does not envy or boast; [he] is not arrogant or rude.  [He] does not insist on its own way; [he] is not irritable or resentful; [he] does not rejoice at wrong-doing, but rejoices with the truth.  [He] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  [His] Love never ends.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

And, following the example of Christ, he gives himself up for her.  I John 3:16 says, “By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us…”  A Christ-like leader will lay down his life to save his wife, but more than that, he will lay down his pride, he will lay down his rights, he will lay down his preferences, he will lay down his wants to serve her and bless her.  Before Jesus died on the cross, He wrapped a towel around his waist and washed the feet of His disciples.  Christ-like leaders who love like Jesus are humble servants, not egotistical dictator. 

“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45)

Love like this is gracious and unconditional.  Romans 5:8 says, “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  Every wife is a fallen human being, just like their husbands.  Every wife has oddities and character flaws, just like their husbands.  But the Christ-like leader loves his wife despite those things.  Christ-like love is strong and committed.  It’s not wishy-washy.  It’s not here today and gone tomorrow.  Romans 8:35 says, “What can separate us from the love of Christ?”  The answer is nothing.  Christ-like leaders loves their wives steadfastly just as Christ loves them.  But there is more. 

Ephesians 5:28-30 goes on to explain that the same care and attention that husbands give to themselves is to be given to their wives.  Do we shower our bodies to stay clean?  Do we feed our bodies to stay strong?  Do we clothe our bodies to stay warm?  Do we rest our bodies when we are tired?  Do we take medicine when our bodies are sick?  When our bodies are hurt, do we try to relieve the pain?  We are taking care (“nourishing and cherishing”) of our bodies all the time.  That’s the kind of love God wants husbands to have for their wives. 

The reason is simple: Husbands and wives are one-flesh.  They are one-body.  They are not two individuals living together.  They are members of each other like the members of a body.  To care for her is to care for himself.  To hurt her or neglect her is to hurt or neglect himself.  If the head should say, “I don’t need my feet, feet are ugly,” it is only hurting itself.  If the body ignores the signs of a heart-attack, it is only hurting itself.  Loving our wives as Christ loves the church means nourishing and cherishing her as we do our own bodies. 

When a husband leads and loves his wife like Christ leads and loves the church, the wife has nothing to fear.  She does not feel repressed.  She does not feel inferior.  She feels blessed and secure.  As he fulfills his God-given role, she is enabled and encouraged to fulfill her God-given role and the two work in harmony with each other.  

Encouragements for Husbands
The responsibility to lead and love our wives as Christ leads and loves the church is a high calling.  Every husband has failed to one degree or another.  Don’t let your failure be an excuse to give up.  Remember these two things:  First, if you trust in Christ, your sins have been forgiven.  Your failure to lead and to love your wife is one of the reasons Christ died for you.  And now God accepts you as He accepts His own perfect Son.  Second, as you trust in Christ, He will empower you to do what you are called to do.   His grace is enough.  His power is perfected in weakness.  Ask Him for it.  Trust Him for it.

From the September Know and Tell

There is a placard in the Wichita Mountain Wildlife Refuge in memory of a lone hiker.  At the top of this placard, positioned at the head of a rugged trail, are the words: “Never Go Alone.”  You see, this hiker had fallen into a crevasse in the rocks and broken his leg.  No one knew he had gone hiking.  He died within a few days because no one was there to get help.  The placard is a permanent appeal to all would-be hikers to never go alone. 

I’m glad I wasn’t alone when I fell in the Wichita Mountains.  It was my senior year of High School and I was climbing a rock wall (with ropes!) in a narrow canyon.  When I fell there was just enough slack in the rope that my feet hit the ground but nothing else.  It was enough to break my foot.  Although I probably could have limped or crawled out of the canyon eventually, I had a friend with me who hiked out and brought help.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up.  But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

“Never Go Alone” is a good slogan.  Our life could depend on it.  The same is true of our Christian life.  We are proud and independent people.  We don’t like appearing weak and needy.  We have a hard time trusting others.  In our pride we fail to appreciate the danger we are in.  God made us to need and depend on one another for our faith and joy in God. 

This is the value of the Body of Christ.  When you have spiritual friends who are walking through life with you – you have someone to encourage you along the way – you have someone to watch over your soul – you have someone to bring you back from the edge – you have someone to go for help when you fall – you have someone to remind you of the truth – you have someone to take you back to the cross.  In the church, you have more than just one hiking partner, you have a whole family. 

I appeal to you – “Never Go Alone” and never let a friend go alone.  Wrap your arm around another person, several persons, and determine to walk together this fall.  Don’t let pride keep you from building the kind of relationships necessary to live in faith and joy.  This is the time of year when many students return to school and their class-mates.  If you’ve been away from church for a “summer”, there’s no better time to get back involved than now. 

In Joy,
Pastor Paul

Sermon Summary, August 30th, 2009

“God, help our home,” is a prayer God can answer.  But we said last week that in order to receive God’s help we need receptive hearts.  James 4:6 says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”  The point of this morning’s message is that God helps our home by infusing marriage with meaning and purpose beyond our imagination!

In a couple of weeks we will observe the Lord’s Supper in a special Sunday evening service in our Fellowship Hall.  The Lord’s Supper is infused with meaning and purpose beyond just the bread and juice.  It would be a shame to take the Lord’s Supper and miss the meaning.  And worse, it would be a crime against God to make the Lord’s Supper about something other than its intended meaning. 

 Over 2 million couples get married every year in the United States. 4 out of 5 adults in the U.S. either are married or have been married at least once.  And it is safe to say that most of those couples miss the God-given meaning and purpose of their marriage.  Worse still, they’ve made marriage about something it’s not.  What is it about? 

“‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:31-32)

Marriage is about more than falling in love.  It’s about more than romance.  It’s about more than personal fulfillment.   It’s about more than keeping a house.  It’s is about than raising children.  Marriage is about Christ and the church.  That’s the infusion of meaning and purpose God gives marriage. 

Verse 32, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” is a reference to marriage.  It was first written by Moses in Genesis 2:24 after God gave Adam Eve to be his partner.  It describes how a man breaks one kind of relationship with His parents and begins an entirely new relationship with a woman and instead of being two separate individuals they become one flesh, one union.  That’s human marriage. 

But this is what Moses didn’t know: human marriage is modeled after the marriage of Jesus Christ and His people.  God designed the union of husbands and wives to represent and reflect the union we share with Jesus.  That’s the ultimate reason why human marriage exists.  It was a “mystery” in the Old Testament because its true meaning hadn’t been revealed until now.  If Christ and the church did not exist, human marriage would not exist.

Here’s what we learn about Christ and the church from Ephesians 5:22-33:  

1. Jesus loved the church and gave himself up for her (v. 25).  We were dead in our sin.  We were under Satan’s dominion.  We were under the righteous wrath of God.  But Christ came from His Heavenly Father on a rescue mission for His Bride.  “While we were still weak, Christ died for the ungodly” (Romans 5:6).  “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (5:8).  “While we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son” (5:10).  That’s why Jesus is called our “Savior” in Ephesians 5:23.  
2. When we receive Him by faith, we become joined to Him and permanently united to Him.  We are no longer separate individuals; we are one with Him; like my arm is joined to my body so we are joined to His body (v. 23, 30).  I Corinthians 6:17 says, “He who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.”   This is how we are saved from the wrath of God: in Him we died and were buried and raised to new life (which is what Baptism pictures); in Him we are counted righteous.  
3. As His Bride He is passionately committed to our transformation and care (v. 26-29).  He loves us as He loves Himself.  He nourishes and cherishes us as His own body.  As head of the body, he takes primary responsibility for our welfare.  His commitment to us is so strong that nothing will separate us.  “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?” (Romans 8:35).  He says to us, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).  

God planned all this from the beginning!  He planned this “before the foundation of the world” (Eph. 1:4).  Everything that was created was created with this purpose in mind.  Everything that was written in the Old Testament was written somehow in preparation or anticipation of the coming of the Son for His Bride. 

When God planned the great work of Jesus Christ and His relationship to the Church, He pictured it in the institution of marriage.  It was designed as an earthly, physical, temporary picture of the heavenly, spiritual, eternal union we share with Jesus.  That’s where marriage finds its meaning and purpose.  That’s the God-given point to marriage.  It’s the shadow; Christ and the church is the substance.  

Five Applications (What difference does it make?) 

1. Marriage is lifted out of the common, mundane, and ordinary and seen as the holy, sacred, and extraordinary thing that it really is.  Every person should feel at this moment awe over the magnificent reality of marriage.  Hebrews 13:4 says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all” and now we know why.  So long as we get our ideas of marriage from television sit-coms, we will never feel or think of marriage as we should.  
    
2. Marriage is set on a solid foundation of grace and mercy and unmerited love – not performance, not appearance, not personal satisfaction, but grace.  Christ loved the church and died for the church even while we yet sinners and ungodly.  We didn’t deserve this.  We didn’t earn this.  He pursued us by grace, he obtained us by grace, he sustains us by grace, and perfects us by grace.  That is the foundation all marriages should rest on as pictures of Christ and the church.  Husbands and wives ought to forgive and accept one another as God has forgiven and accepted them.  
    
3. Marriage is over culture and society as an institution designed by God for a display of His glory in Christ.  It is not subject to the changing tides of opinion.   It’s not based on ideals in the 1950’s or norms in the ancient world.  The design and roles set forth in the Bible are not incidental; they are woven into the meaning and purpose of marriage itself.  Changing the design and roles of marriage is to shatter its meaning and purpose.
    
4. Marriage is given solid guidance for the roles of husbands and wives.  Husbands – our example is Christ.  How does Christ feel about us?  How does He love us?  How does He lead us?  How does He treat us?  What is His priority in life?  How strong is Christ’s union with us?    Wives – your example is the church.  How do we feel about Christ?  How do we love Christ?  How do we follow His leadership?  How do we treat Him?  What is our priority in life?  How strong is our union with Him?  All of this is instructive for our marriage.  
    
5. Marriage is meant to be an unbreakable union so long as husband and wife both live.  If human marriage is a picture of Christ and the church then divorce and separation is a gross misrepresentation.  Christ holds fast to us and we are told again and again to hold fast to Him by the grace He supplies, therefore our marriages ought to reflect that.  Jesus said, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matt. 19:6).  Hold to your commitment.  Keep your promise.  Fight through any problem for sake of the covenant you made before God.  Be faithful, even if the other spouse isn’t faithful.   

Ephesians 2:10 says that we were created in Christ Jesus for good works.  Jesus said to let our light shine so that when others see our good works they may glorify our Heavenly Father.  Do you ever wonder where your good works are?  Do you ever wonder, “What am I doing for God and His glory?”  Here’s some encouragement – if you are married and seeking to be an ever greater picture of Christ and the church, you are doing a good work!  Your marriage, if it is founded upon Christ, is a good work through which God is glorified!

As for those of you who are unmarried - hold marriage in honor.  Pray for your parent’s marriage.  Pray for your friend’s marriage.  Pray for your own future marriage if you should marry.  Support the marriages around you with Godly advice from His Word.  That is a good work through which God is glorified.

Sunday, August 23rd, 2009, Sermon Summary

Today begins our six-week theme called, “God, Help Our Home: Exploring the Biblical Vision of Marriage and Family.”  Let’s get serious, most of us know we need God’s help in our home and we want God’s blessing.  Most of us aren’t too proud to think we have it all figured out.  Furthermore, most of us know the Bible is the source for getting wisdom and direction.  God designed marriage and family, so it only makes sense to go to His Word for instruction.  And, in fact, most of us alreadly know what the Bible says on the subject.

We know we need God.  We know the value of God’s Word.  We even know what it says.  The problem for many of us is that our hearts are dull of hearing.  To receive God’s help we need receptive hearts – hearts that are ready and willing to respond to God’s Word; to trust and obey, to believe and apply. 

Before the farmer plants his seeds and expects a successful harvest the hard, sun-baked soil must be broken and tilled.  The rocks have to be removed and the ground prepared.  In the same way, before the seed of God’s Word can really penetrate our hearts and bear fruit our hearts need to be broken and prepared.  That’s what James 4:7-10 prescribes. 

In James chapter four, James is writing to people whose hearts need to be broken.  They are fighting and arguing to the point of harming one another.  James says it is because their hearts aren’t right with God.  So long as their heart towards God is wrong, God opposes them and will not help them (v. 6).  What follows is a seven point prescription for getting their heart right.  It’s a serious prescription.  Let’s use James’ presciption to evaluate our readiness to trust and obey God.

1.  Am I submitted to God? (v. 7)
Submission is the good, Biblical quality of willingly following the leadership of another.  Jesus submitted to his parents as a child and He was submitted to His Heavenly Father all of His life.  He didn’t begrudge this.  He wasn’t demeaned as a person.  His dignity wasn’t stripped away.  He recognized the autority of His earthly mon and dad and of His Heavenly Dad. 

Before God can bless us and before His Word can bear fruit in our lives or our families, we must be submitted to God.  This means our fists of resistance have dropped to our sides and defiance dropped from our hearts.  This means we no longer argue with God’s commands or complain about what He has said.  This also means we don’t argue with God’s providences, those circumstances in our lives that God has allowed for a reason. 

Jesus was The picture of Biblical submission.  That’s why so much grace and power was evident in His life.  In the Garden of Gethsemen, facing the hardest test of His existence, He could have balked at what His Father had ordained, He could have complained, but being the perfect Lamb of God that He was, He said, “Not my will, but yours be done.”  We are not Jesus, but we as Christian husbands and wives, fathers and mothers and children, are to follow His example (by His grace).  Submission says, “Not my will, but your will be done in my life.  I accept what You say and I will gladly obey.”

2.  Do I Resist the Devil? (v. 7)
We are not always aware of the Devil’s influence or attacks in our lives.  He is the master of deception.  Jesus said He is a liar and is the father of lies.  He is a cunning schemer.  As I Peter 5 tells us, the devil is our enemy, a roaring lion stalking his prey.  Unless we are careful, we will be that prey!

How do we fall prey to the devil?  By resisting God.  When we resist God we are submitting to the devil, and we may not even be aware of it!  When we refuse to listen to the voice of God, we are agreeing to listen to the voice of the devil.  When we defy God’s plan for marriage or ignore His design for family, we are falling into the hands of the enemy. 

However, when we submit to God we are resisting the devil.  He is not all-powerful.  James says if we resist the devil he will flee from us.   We are too strong an opponent for him when we trust and obey the Lord.  Believe it or not, Satan is on the prowl for a husband, a wife, or a child he can devour with lies.  Let us not be caught like Adam and Eve who believed and obeyed the devil over God.

3.  Do I Draw Near God? (v. 8)
Drawing near to God speaks of intimate fellowship, communion with Him through His Word and prayer.  We can draw near to God at any time.  That’s one of the privileges of being His son or daughter through Jesus Christ.  We don’t have to wait for church on Sunday.  Through Jesus we can fellowship with God at home, in the car, anywhere, anytime. 

Too often we are so busy and distracted that we forget to draw near to God, and yet we still want God to bless our family.  We want God’s blessing, but do we want Him?  As Christians we must learn to draw near to God by meditating on His Word and praying to Him.  Prayer is more than asking for things we want or need.  Prayer also includes submitting to something He has told us in His Word; thanking Him for something He has given to us, praising Him for His great character and promises and works, as well as bringing our troubles and pains to Him for comfort and relief. 

When we resist (and draw away) from the devil, he flees from us.  When we submit and draw near to God, James says God draws near to us.  The Psalmist says God is near the broken-hearted.  God will not stand aloof from us when we come to Him with broken hearts.  He desires intimate fellowship with Him more than we realize.  Again and again in His Word He invites us to pray and stands ready to answer.

4.  Do I have Clean Hands? (v. 8)
5.  Do I Have a Pure Heart? (v. 8)
Hands represent our outward, external behavior; the life we live out in the open.  Our heart represents our inward, internal thoughts, motivations, attitudes and desires; the life that is hidden from public scrutiny.  We sin in both ways – everybody.  The issue is, do I confess them, do I acknowledge what I have done and forsake them?  Or, do I harbor my sin?  Do I ignore the dirt in my hands and filth in my heart? 

As God’s children, we have access to Him 24/7.  He will never turn us away.  However, our persistent, un-confessed sin puts up a barrier between us, it ruins our fellowship.  God cannot, He will not, bless us while we have unconfessed sin in our lives or in our hearts.  The good news is that if we confess our sins, “He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrightesousness” (I John 1:9). 

Jerry Bridges, in his book “Respectable Sins”, lists sins we commonly ignore and “accept” in our lives.  I list them here as an example that all our sin, both inside and out, must be confessed and forsaken.

• Ungodliness
• Anxiety & Frustration
• Discontentment
• Unthankfulness
• Pride
• Selfishness
• Lack of self-control
• Impatience and irritability
• Anger
• Judgmentalism
• Sins of the tongue (lying, gossip, slander, sarcasm, ridicule)
• Worldliness

6.  Do I Feel Sorrow for Sin? (v. 9)
Verse nine is the language of repentance.  The people James is writing to have sinned greatly, therefore they ought to “mourn and weep and turn their laughter into mourning and their joy to gloom.”  This doesn’t mean Christians ought to have a doom-and-gloom outlook all the time.  It means we ought have a deep, heart-response to sin, to feel about it the way God feels about.  It is grievous. 

Sorrow is an important aspect of repentance.  It is the difference between saying, “I’m sorry” and really meaning it.  Just as we can see through our children’s “I’m sorry” so God can see through ours.  When it comes to repentance, God is looking at our hearts not our words.  When we do truly grieve over sin, because of the cross, we can be truly comforted and live in the joy of forgiveness.

7.  Am I Humble before the Lord? (v. 10)
Humility and submission go hand and hand.  You can’t have one without the other.  A humble person sees God as the great and glorious Person that He is and sees themselves as needy and non-glorious.  A humble person knows they can do nothing apart from God.  A humble person knows they have nothing they didn’t receive.  A humble peson even sees others as more important than themselves.

The promise of James 4:6 is that God gives grace to the humble.  The promise of James 4:10 is that God exalts the humble.  God is eager to bless the humble!  If we want God’s help in our home and want His Word to bear fruit in our lives, we must be humble before Him.  “To this one I will look,” Isaiah 66:3 says, “he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word.”